


sweet embraces and nosy bridgemen

by codycola



Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Book 03: Oathbringer, Secret Relationship, kaladin nightmares, kalarin can’t keep secrets for beans, your honor they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25309036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codycola/pseuds/codycola
Summary: Kaladin has a nightmare and goes to Renarin for comfort, clearly not for the first time either.
Relationships: Kaladin/Renarin Kholin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 60





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> tw for blood and violence mentions but only a little! as a treat!

Renarin heard the “door” to his room rustle. He opened bleary eyes, and saw the captain’s familiar form lit by the first moon.

Renarin sat up, noticing how hard he was shaking. “Nightmares again?”

“Yeah.” Kaladin crumpled into his open arms. His breath was hot and shaky on Renarin’s shoulder, tears seeping into his shirt.

He wasn’t sure how long they spent simply holding each other, breath syncing in the stifling silence. It didn’t matter anyways. They could’ve stayed like that until the sun rose and it would still feel too short. Anything to make this moment last forever... He pulled Kaladin tighter, breathing in the simple smells of a soldier. Leather, oil, and a musk he was far too fond of.

Kaladin opened his mouth as if to say something, but no sound came out.

“What?”

“You...” Kaladin sat up, facing him. “You joined the horrors this time. I just can’t shake the image of your- your eyes burning, and your blood spilled on the rocks, and-“ Kal clung to him, tears flowing freely. “ _I can’t fail you too._ ”

______

Renarin took his jaw in steady hands, tilting his face to look into his eyes. Eye contact was rare from the prince. “You _can’t_ fail me. You know that.” He looked to the side, as if the right words were written in the air. “I’ve seen myself die a thousand times and- and it’s never been your fault.” Kaladin saw truth in his gaze.

“You can’t take responsibility for my life, love. I won’t let you.”

Kaladin smiled weakly. “Sorry... I’m not very good at letting people... cause their own problems.” He slumped back into the prince’s embrace. “I have to fuck up for them.”

“Don’t worry captain,” Renarin said with a soft smile. “I have plenty of experience being a burden.”

Kaladin sat up sharply. “You can’t say that about yourself.”

“I can say anything I want about myself, Kaladin. I outrank you.”

“I’m a radiant.”

“So am I!” They sat in silence for a moment. This was an absurd argument.

“Fine. But if not everything is my fault, you’re not a burden. Deal?”

Renarin reached his hand out, giving a firm handshake. “Deal.” Not letting Kaladin’s hand go, he pulled them down into a kiss. It wasn’t the first, and for once he knew it wouldn’t be the last.

Kaladin melted, burying his rough hands in the prince’s hair. They stayed like that for a perfect moment. Renarin holding him by the waist, Kaladin running his fingers through soft black and gold locks. The world was perfectly silent around them as they shared affection - and saliva - while the second moon hung in the sky.

Eventually Renarin drifted off, the pair still in a tender embrace. Bare chests pressed together, tears wiped away, Renarin’s heart beat beside his. Kaladin could feel his breath in his hair. It ruffled the dark curls, reminding him of the skies. As he fell asleep, the nightmares didn’t come again. What could haunt them now? Kaladin had all he needed, and could feel that it was still there and alive.

______

Renarin jolted awake when he heard footsteps. He tossed the blanket over Kal’s head, hoping not to disturb him, and tried his best to not look like he had overslept. He most likely failed. The curtain where a door should’ve been was pulled aside.

“Morning Renarin,” a cheerful voice said. Leyten. “I take it you’ll be late for your meeting?”

“I... most likely will. Send them my apologies, please.”

“Will do, Brightlord. Do you happen to know where... the... captain...” He was looking next to Renarin. Where Kaladin was sleeping. Or rather, where he _had_ been sleeping. The man was sitting straight up, staring at Leyten in shock. “Where the captain is,” Leyten finished.

“Well,” Renarin winced. “I do, but I’d rather you didn’t uh, tell anyone.” He tapped his thumbs together nervously. If anyone found out they had been sharing a bed... well, the rumors had already spread.

Leyten saluted. “Don’t worry Brightlord, your secret is safe with me!” The storming man winked, badly hiding a grin as he left.

______   
  


Kaladin groaned as the footsteps retreated. “Of course, because we needed _another_ thing to worry about. If the men hear about this...” he started to brush his hands back and forth across each other, like sanding crem. “Did you know they’ve made bets? On my love life? Storms, if-“ Renarin took his hand, seeming distant.

“Would it really be so bad if they knew?

“Kelek _yes,_ if only because Lopen would tell the whole damned tower in a heartbeat!”

“I thought you had more faith in your men, Kaladin Stormblessed.” Syl said, appearing as a young woman in front of him. Renarin seemed to notice her too, though he was accustomed to her presence by now. She rarely hid from him anymore.

Kaladin grimaced. “Not when it comes to gossip. But you’re right, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Don’t know how Dalinar would react though.”

“I suspect he wouldn’t let us do, um, this,” Renarin said, gesturing to their situation. Both shirtless as tears had drenched his top, a shared blanket covering Kaladin’s bare legs and underwear. “But I’d rather not find out today. Can you get yourself out unnoticed?”

“I think you underestimate me, dearest,” Kaladin said, tugging on his trousers.

“I’d never do that,” Renarin said, pulling him down for a short kiss. “You go keep your secrets. I have a meeting to get to.”

Kaladin slipped out of the room, trying to hide the giddiness dancing in his chest. It had been _far_ too long since he felt like this.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “WAIT!” Lopen stood up, pointing at Kaladin. “That’s why you’re never at the barracks in the morning!”

The Lopen was sure the captain was _just_ stupid enough to not realize he should be courting Renarin. It lined up with all the other things he was stupid about, such as having depression, and not liking chouta. He’d never even tried it! How could he know?! 

Food drama wasn’t the focus for today, however. He needed to go bully a knight radiant. A _fellow_ knight radiant. It still felt weird to him. The stormfather had taken away his dramatic moment, making him a full radiant in the middle of a _hospital tent_ , while showing off to an old man. Rather rude of him, to be honest.

“Hey Sigzil, do you know where the captain went?”

“I’m not sure, I have Leyten looking for him though. He still hasn’t looked over the chain of command proposal for the squires...” Sigzil and his paperwork. Did the man think about anything else? Like chouta? Lopen was hungry.

Leyten appeared at the end of the hallway, clearly trying to look nonchalant. And failing. He knew something.

“Didja find the captain?” Lopen asked

“Uh-“ Leyten thought for a second. You could see the little gears in his head ticking. “Yeah, he was brooding. He’ll probably be here soon.”

Turns out _soon_ was right now. Kaladin came strolling down the hall, then waved to Sigzil and sprinted towards him.

“Sorry I’m late, lost track of time. What’s on the agenda, Sigzil?”

Lopen frowned. Apparently he’d have to lecture the captain on his love life another day.  
______

Kaladin glanced at Renarin across the room as he spoke with the ardents. They were talking about some kind of flying ship, he thought. The science made no sense to him, and his attention was meant to be focused on guarding the Kholins, but storms… the way Renarin’s eyes lit up as he spoke, gesturing with his hands and making notes as they brainstormed.

He was beautiful. This wasn’t news to Kaladin, of course, but there was something… different about him when he talked about his interests. A fire burned behind his eyes, and he spoke up instead of observing from the background.

It hit him, in that moment, that he was in love. He loved this beautiful man with fire in his eyes, and he loved the quiet, soft, Renarin that always knew how to make him feel better. He loved his flaws and his strengths, and his soft speckled hair, and the way he bobbed to a beat of his own as he waited to speak, and… Kaladin was staring.

The prince glanced up from his notebook and smiled at him, which was an ear-to-ear grin by Renarin standards. Kaladin flushed slightly, staring at a corner of the room instead.   
______

Renarin ran his thumb over the back of Kal’s hand, held under the tablecloth at one of his father’s meetings. He was only there as a radiant, to show unity, so he sat in the back. He hadn’t had any input anyways. This was all about big international maneuvers, not visions of the future or new technology.

He tried to sit like a normal person, feet on the ground and back touching his chair. He settled for keeping one foot up on his knee, the other firmly planted on the floor. _Appear normal._

He was too busy being distracted by Kaladin’s relaxed position, chin up and shoulders open. He looked far too handsome like that for the situation, which was entirely unfair as Renarin had been required to “clean up” to his father’s standards. Honestly, he couldn’t even put his hair over his eyes?

Kal was fully invested in the meeting, giving advice and talking about his most recent storm dream. That was for the best, Renarin supposed, as he doubted his resolve if this confident and satisfied version of the captain even _looked_ at him. He’d kiss him on the spot, probably… right. Meeting.

Renarin shook himself a little, then tapped Kaladin’s hand insistently.

“What are we talking about?” He asked in a low voice.

“Have you really not been-“ Kal paused. “We’re discussing the herald in Tukar. Dalinar believes we might be able to bring him to our side without bloodshed.”

“That’s promising!”

“Yeah, it is. Now listen to the rest on your own.”

Renarin almost stuck his tongue out at him, but thought better of it. _We’re in public, you fool!_ It was easy to forget, with Kal being so much more interesting. He couldn’t wait to be alone with him, and… he had gotten distracted again.   
______

Kaladin sat far from the campfire, absently eating his stew. Someone sat down beside him.

“Gancho,” Lopen said. “Tell me, why do you insist on only looking at prince Renarin from a distance?”

What game was he playing?

“I’m sure you could appreciate his handsomeness better if you ever sat next to him.” Lopen _winked_.

“Lopen, genuinely _what_ are you talking about?”

“I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, gancho. It’s rather frustrating seeing you two pine and never do anything about it.”

Kaladin started laughing. This was so damned absurd. Lopen stared at him in confusion as he doubled over on the log stool. The men around the campfire were starting to notice too. Kaladin wiped a tear from his eye.   
“It’s just, we’ve been trying so _hard_ to keep it hidden, and now _you’re_ coming to me saying we’re so obviously in love? Clearly we’ve been hiding all the wrong things.”

“I’m not sure if that’s an insult, gancho... most of the crew haven’t noticed anything.”

“Still, it’s amusing that Rock didn’t say something first.”

Lopen turned to face him again. “How long have you two been keeping this secret?”

“A few weeks, though Leyten found out a while ago.”

“WAIT!” Lopen stood up, pointing at Kaladin. “That’s why you’re never at the barracks in the morning!”

Kaladin felt himself go red, pulling Lopen back down. “ _Not so loud_!” He hissed.

Lopen looked him up and down. “And here I thought you were too oblivious to realize you were pining for the prince.” He grinned. “Captain’s been-“

A hand landed on his shoulder. “Captain’s been doing nothing of the sort, as far as you know.” Renarin sat down next to Lopen with a surprising amount of poise.

“If that gets out, my father will kill me. And,” he paused. “If my father hears, so will the ardents. I’ve already been learning to write and seeing the future, this certainly wouldn’t help.”

“Ah, but symmetry is holy to you Alethi, last I heard!”

Renarin blushed. “It’s not the symmetry, it’s the _premarital_ part. Though I suppose if they excommunicate me I can’t exactly get married in their eyes…”

“Just,” Kaladin interjected, “don’t tell anyone outside of bridge four. Please.”

Lopen sighed. “Alright, if you say so gancho. When the good king Dalinar hears of your relationship, it won’t be from me.” He smiled. “It’ll probably be from Jasnah.”

“Storms,” Renarin paled. “The lecture I’d get from her…”

Lopen got up, rejoining the crew at the campfire. Kaladin sighed. “I’m never gonna hear the end of this from the men, am I?”


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kal,” Renarin turned to face him. “We’re fighting a god fueled by hatred and death who, if set free, will probably destroy our entire species. You’re gonna get beat up whether you use fancy words or not.”

Kaladin wasn’t really paying attention to the book Renarin was reading. He drifted through random thoughts, occasionally looking down at Renarin - held in his arms while Kaladin sat propped up on an unholy amount of pillows - and commenting on something he had just said.

The book was about the radiants, or something, and kept using the word _investiture_. He found it annoying. Why couldn’t they just say _stormlight_ or _power_ like a normal person? Big words were a personal insult. They reminded Kaladin of his childhood.

“Why do they have to say everything like that?” He blurted out.

“Like what?” Renarin looked up at him, head resting on his shoulder.

“With extra words snuck in. They could say the same thing in half as much time if they just called things what they are.”

“All those words _are_ what they…” He scowled. “You haven’t been listening. You’ve just been brooding over how they say things this whole time.”

“I…” Kaladin paused. “Pretty much.”

“I’ll never be able to make a scholar out of you, will I dear?”

“I used to talk like that. Got beat up for it.”

“Kal,” Renarin turned to face him. “We’re fighting a god fueled by hatred and death who, if set free, will probably destroy our entire species. You’re gonna get beat up whether you use fancy words or not.”

He grunted. “I’d say big words and scholarship are for rich lighteyes, but I think owning land makes me one of those... still not learning to read though. I have a reputation to keep.”

“And courting the prince of _blasphemy_ doesn’t hurt said reputation?”

“Not if we don't tell anyone!”

Renarin frowned at that. “With the amount of close calls we’ve had, I don’t think it’s a matter of _telling_ people. And the possibility isn’t disastrous enough for my visions to be of any use.”

“I don’t know, Renarin.” Kaladin sighed. “Sometimes I wish we weren’t hiding this, but I don’t want half of Roshar looking at our relationship the way they do Adolin and Shallan.”

“I have a feeling our secret’s getting out sooner than you think, but it’s probably best to hold off on saying anything official.” He wavered, eyes going wide. “Storms, I hope my father wasn’t planning to marry me off to anyone… he still thinks I like women!”

Kaladin smiled slightly. “It’s funny, my parents always planned to marry me off to the city lord's daughter, to give me a better life. Now I’m not sure who’s higher ranked in our relationship.”

“Probably the spren,” Renarin mumbled through a yawn.

“Well, we _are_ tiny pieces of of god,” Syl said, shooting down from where she had been perched.

“So you like to remind us.” Kaladin felt his eyes drooping too. He settled back into the mountain of pillows, holding Renarin from behind. He knew, somewhere, that falling asleep like this was a bad idea. But it was so… peaceful. Just him, the afternoon sunlight, and the man he loved. He’d worry about propriety later.  
______

Shallan strolled down the hallway, Adolin’s arm wrapped casually around her waist. He stopped by a curtained hole, tugging it open and poking his head through the opening.

“Hey Renarin, are-” A silent moment passed, Adolin frozen with only his head through the veil. He slowly pulled out of the doorway, letting the curtain swing back into place and grinning like a fool. “Guess I’ll get them a plate.”  
______

Footsteps in the hallway. Kaladin jolted awake and something thunked on the wooden desk.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. Y’missed dinner.” 

Renarin stirred in front of him, but the prince was a deep sleeper.

“Adolin?”

The storming man was _grinning_! “I see you two finally stopped being cowards around each other!“

Kaladin sighed. “Have we really been _that_ obvious?”

Adolin paused. “Yeah.”

“You’re the second person _this week_ who’s said that... apparently it’s a miracle we kept our relationship secret at all.”

Adolin leaned against the wall, folding his arms with a smile. “To be fair, I had to find you sleeping together to realize anything was going on.” 

Kaladin sputtered, feeling himself flush. “Find us _what_?”

“Storms,” Adolin said. “You _are_ easy to embarrass. You two fell asleep in a prince’s bed in the middle of the day and _didn’t_ expect to be found out?”

“We um. Didn’t think that far ahead, at the time.” Kaladin pointedly stared downwards.

Adolin stood up from the wall and slid a hand into his pocket, pulling the door-curtain aside with the other. He hesitated, looking back at Kaladin. “You’re good for him. Almighty knows my brother could sleep more.”

He left, thick drapes falling into place behind him.  
______

Renarin cracked an eye open. “Finally! The food better not be cold.”

Kaladin smiled. “How long were you listening?”

“Too long. And,” he got up, uncovering the platter of food and moving it to the floor. Much better. “I told you so.” That was _very_ fun to say.

Kal shifted to the ground, sitting across from Renarin. “Told me what?”

Renarin held a finger up, a chunk of meat sticking in his teeth. “That it wouldn’t matter if we told anyone. Now not only do all of Bridge Four know, but so do a highprince and his wife. It won’t be long before my father finds out, one way or another.” He wasn’t sure why the concept scared him so much.

Kal sighed. “I know, but… can we worry about this later? I’m tired of my actions having ‘consequences’.”

“Fair enough.” Renarin said, and they ate in silence for a while. Not much to talk about these days when you weren’t worrying.  
______

Kaladin woke up with a headache and a complete lack of energy. He got up anyway. Best to get back before anyone looked for him.

The path to the barracks was familiar, leaving Kaladin time to think. He tried not to.

The same thoughts always cycled in his head, small minded scandals or trouble with his men. Lopen’s squires kept causing trouble in the breakaway, and a town in Kaladin’s land needed a new citylord. He couldn’t waste energy on the fate of the universe with people in need, right? That was a good excuse. He’d try it on Syl.

It was so much easier to worry about his lover’s father’s possible propriety - though the man’s own marriage made many people question if he had any at all - than the planet humanity had destroyed, or that nahel bonds came from Odium, or any other problem the scholars were so possessed by.

He turned a corner, finally arriving at the clearing Bridge Four occupied.

“Late again, Kal?” Leyten said with a knowing smirk. Storming man.

“I was busy.”

He grinned _wider_!

“Doing other things, Leyten. I’m an important man.” This was an okay lie. They didn’t need to know how much time he spent with the prince.

“Sure.”

Kaladin pasted on a smile. It bothered him how right they were about his relationship. He should’ve been able to think about other things. He should’ve been more concerned by the fate of the universe than who knew he was courting Renarin, and it _did_ concern him, but matters of gods and power seemed too big to comprehend. Gossip is easier on the mind.

He tugged his coat forward uncomfortably. He was _sure_ the bruises were too low to peek out, but better safe than sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact, I have a much more explicit version of this chapter that got to second draft, and it will never see the light of day


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woah dalinar perspective... woah... (sorry ab the gratuitous italics, it kinda just happened)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! I am mentally ill 🖤

Dalinar inspected his son and his highmarshal - Kaladin Stormblessed’s newly decided rank - from across the busy room. Renarin had always seemed uncomfortable around soldiers, or, well, basically _everyone_ , but there he was, _lounging_ next to Kaladin. Renarin laughed at something he said, pausing to grin at Kaladin, eyes sparkling.

The two seemed perfectly at ease in that corner, not bothering to notice the meeting around them. The large gathering pretended to ignore them, but many spared glances and conspiratorial whispers when conversation lulled. Dalinar had heard rumors, mostly relayed by Navani, about the nature of their relationship.

He wasn’t sure what to believe. Yes, they had grown closer recently, and yes, they always seemed to be found together, but. Well, he couldn’t really imagine either of them courting _anyone_ , let alone _each other_! He could see why they wouldn’t want their relationship public.

Radiant couples faced a stifling amount of scrutiny, and the infamously ‘feminine’ son of the blackthorn courting a man? There wouldn’t be a soul in all of Roshar that didn’t hear gossip of it. Rumors had already spread like wildfire, and any inkling of the truth would surely be corrupted.

He didn’t want to pry into their relationship, whatever it was, but curiosity nipped at his morals. Shouldn’t he be invested in his son’s relationships, uncommon as they were? Had Renarin courted other people and simply never told him? And- 

Storms, why was he so worried about this? He _knew_ there were bigger problems than hearsay, as he’d been the one to bring them up! Dalinar had struggled for days to arrange this session! He couldn’t get distracted by foolish gossip now.  
______

Renarin twiddled his thumbs and kicked his legs, waiting for the meeting to end. He wasn’t sure why he had come in the first place, but it was far too late to leave. Kal wasn’t even being particularly irresistible today, he was just storming _bored_. 

He almost wished one of his fits would strike, just to give him something to focus on. Okay, he _did_ wish a fit would strike. There was damn near nothing else to do.

The conference dragged on, discussing things he often knew the answer to, but couldn’t say because, remember, _foreseeing the future is unholy_. No matter that their own god could see the future.

He understood his visions were dangerous, that they were of Odium, but they wouldn’t _lie_! Though they could, rarely, be wrong. Renarin held onto that. He could sense Odium’s fury at his premonition being mistaken. It was quite entertaining to watch the god squirm, raging against his confines and stewing over how to prevent such an oversight from happening again.

It was quite amusing, actually, being able to spy on the affairs of a god. Odium wasn’t anywhere near as calm as people assumed him to be. He was a god of passion and spontaneity, and his knowledge of the future really couldn’t stretch that far in the world of gods. Of course, Renarin couldn’t _tell_ anyone this, because connection to Odium was, again, blasphemy. And well, deep seated societal fear in a god of anger, unfounded or otherwise, was probably for the best.

The meeting was _finally_ trailing off. Scribes leaving to research what they had discussed, generals remembering their age and departing before they drifted off mid-blather. Kaladin got up, whispering that he’d meet Renarin in the hallway, to be less conspicuous. It had been a while since they’d spent a night together, and Renarin forcibly suppressed his hopes for the evening.  
______

The walk from the barracks to Renarin’s rooms was far too familiar by now. Kaladin probably didn’t even need the sphere he held in front of himself. He wasn’t surprised to see light peeking out from beneath the door - a proper one, finally.

Kaladin cracked the door open. Uneven blue spherelight revealed Renarin’s face, deep in thought with a loose stack of papers in his limp hand. He jumped as he noticed Kaladin, then smiled and went back to his reading. 

Entering the cluttered room, Kaladin leaned over the chair from behind and wrapped his arms around the prince’s chest. 

He let out a breath, wondering how long he’d been holding it. “Hi.”

“Evening, highmarshal.”

Kaladin frowned. “What has you up so late?” 

Renarin sighed, leaning into Kaladin’s embrace. “Well, I’m _trying_ to think about dawnchant translations, but none of them are quite disturbing enough to distract me from the rumors.”

“Still worried about that, huh?”

Renarin tilted his head backwards, meeting Kaladin’s eyes. “And you aren’t?”

“I am pretending, that I have faced and accepted the inevitability of our relationship becoming public, and that the idea doesn’t terrify me in the slightest. If I believe hard enough, maybe I’ll be able to sleep at night.” Kaladin forced on a weak smile.

Renarin rolled his eyes at that, pulling Kaladin into a brief kiss. “Maybe you’d sleep better if you tired yourself out first.” He blinked slowly, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Kaladin gave him a flat look. Renarin rose from the chair and hopped onto his bed, clasping his hands, leaning them on crossed legs, and looked up at Kaladin with the same impatient expression.

He sighed and slid onto the bed beside Renarin. Reluctantly, he settled into the disturbingly large pillow stack. Had it grown?

“See, this is what happens when nobody is trying to kill me. The almighty tests me because if he doesn’t, people start gossiping about my love life instead.”

Renarin settled in beside Kaladin, pulling the blanket up into his lap. “It’s a good thing Ialai is causing trouble, or nobody would have secrets around here. S’been way too long since we had a good active threat.”

Kaladin knocked on the wooden bedframe, just to be safe. 


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s navani’s turn that’s about it (sorry this one’s so short despite being late, I just moved from america to jordan and kind of didn’t have time to write)

Navani should’ve been thinking about the scholarly conversations around her. She should’ve been above gossip, perfectly able to focus on her fabrial projects instead. But really, Renarin and _Highmarshal Stormblessed_? A corrupted radiant with visions of the future, and the first man in four millennia to bond an honorspren? It was the perfect scandal to occupy the court.

Alright, fine. There was no use pretending she didn’t need to know. At this rate she wouldn’t get anything done for days. Time to rip the bandage off.

“Renarin?” Navani began, stepping out of the crowd to stand in front of him.

“Yes, aunt?”

“Is Stormblessed treating you well?” God _beyond_ that boy could blush.

“I-” He stared at his hands, fidgeting with his wooden box, for a moment. “Yes. You could say that.”

Navani smiled and shrugged. “Just making sure, since I know your father won’t ask.”

Renarin looked up. “Honestly, I was hoping he wouldn’t find out.” He winced. “Really I was hoping nobody would find out, but he’s the only person left who doesn’t, next to his damned horse.”

“If Adolin knows, he’s told the horse by now. And Dalinar isn’t clueless, just…”

“Emotionally constipated?” Renarin suggested.

“Busy. And maybe that too. Either way, he’ll find out from me before the gossip ruins his little soldier brain.”   
______

Someone sat down next to Dalinar. He didn’t really notice.

“Since I know you’re not going to ask, yes. They are together.”

Damn.

Dalinar scowled. “I almost got my mind off of that, you know.” He glanced at Navani. “How are you so sure?”

“I _asked_. I had a conversation with your son that wasn’t about a battlefield. You should try it sometime.”

“I…” He sighed, leaning back into his chair. “I try to, Navani, but I never know how I should talk to him. I end up talking _at_ him and gain nothing in the end.”

“Renarin says you don’t talk to him because you're _emotionally constipated_.”

Dalinar smiled. “That sounds accurate.”

Navani sighed, clearly trying to hold herself back from lecturing at him on communication again.

“It’s not a problem you can solve, gemheart. I’m just glad to know something for sure about him.” And besides, he was too tired to think any more about it.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really thought this chapter was longer while I was writing it? here’s your crumbs anyways though

“So.”

Kaladin turned to see the speaker, though he already recognized her voice. She wore her own face today, but it was impossible to mistake her for Shallan any time, now that he knew the difference.

“And here I thought the Kholins had enough radiants already.”

“Veil,” Kaladin said, trying to interrupt her.

“Someone should set a limit. One person with godlike power per rational and mentally stable family member.” She grinned.

He sighed. “How do _you_ know about us?”

Veil raised a hand to her chest, feigning offense. “Why Kaladin, you really think Adolin wouldn’t gossip with his own _wife_?”

“You’re _not_ his wife,” He pointed out.

“Ah,” she raised a studious finger. “But I got to eavesdrop. It’s rather easy, since we share a few ears.”

Kaladin gave her a flat look. He didn’t have many others.

“But even if he hadn’t told us, did you really think no one would notice you two mooning for each other? Holding hands under tables, sharing stares during meetings, and _totally_ not thinking about what you’d do once the sun went down?” Her grin turned rather lecherous. “Almighty above, I didn’t know you were keeping anything ‘secret’ until Adolin mentioned it!”

“We’ve been made _well aware_ of how obvious we are. You’re awfully late to gloat, and not the first to say any of this.” 

Veil shrugged. “Fair enough. I figured you should know I noticed first, though. Just for the record.”

“I know, we all bow down to your incredible genius and all that. Good job looking under tablecloths so you can tell people who they’re courting.

“You _should_ bow down!” Veil sniffed. “It was very hard, figuring out an excuse to send Pattern under your table, don’t ask me to do it again.”

“You two disgust me with your bold infatuation, but it’s nice seeing you happy. Don’t stop.” She smiled with a surprising warmth, then slipped into the hallway before Kaladin could process the moment. Had _Veil_ just been _nice_ to him?  
______

Really, what was he trying to hide anymore? Everyone in his life knew, and the courts might as well. Being with Kaladin openly wouldn’t bring any more eyes on them, there weren’t any left looking away.

Renarin’s big worry had always been his father finding out, but apparently he wasn’t even going to bring it up, now that he knew. What was Renarin holding himself back for?

What reputation did he have to lose, anyways?

They were in Kaladin’s rooms today. There wasn’t much in them, but synced breathing and pounding hearts filled the empty spaces nicely.

Renarin opened his mouth, considering exactly how to ask.  
______

“I heard a new winehouse is opening in the breakaway,” Renarin said. Kaladin cracked an eye open.

“Really?”

“They apparently have a mysterious supply of some rare shin fruit wine, too. We could go tomorrow, if you’re not busy.”

Kaladin sat up. “You’re asking… you’re asking _me_ out to a _winehouse_?”

“You need to practice being rich and frivolous someday, brightlord. And your education in wine shades is _shameful_.”

“Well, I’d hate to be ignorant on such an important topic,” Kaladin replied, rolling his eyes. “But,” his face turned more serious. “I _am_ free tomorrow, and I’d hate to leave you to get drunk all alone…”

“So, it’s a date then?”

“Sure.”

He relaxed into the bed again, letting his eyes droop shut. He wouldn’t be alone tomorrow. Maybe he’d even have fun.  
______

Kaladin’s content expression was indescribable, his raw charm in that moment beyond words; and yet Renarin could’ve spent hours, days, trying to explain it. He wasn’t polished or flamboyant, like other men Renarin had felt for.

He was ragged and unkempt, wild curls spilling over a face covered in evening stubble. His beauty was an honest thing, revealed in soft words and casual smiles. Everyone else saw a hardened soldier. A rock, weathered by far too many storms. But underneath the scars, when the walls fell for a short breath, he had layers of refreshing, unrefined… something. That was the true Kaladin, the one Renarin desperately wanted to know.

“God...” Kaladin glanced at him. Renarin hadn’t meant to say anything out loud. “This might be the most relaxed I’ve ever seen you.”

“And what does _that_ mean?”

Renarin felt a sleepy grin spread over his face. “You’re just, really pretty when you calm down… you should be happy more often.”

“I…” Kaladin sighed. “I really wish I could be, love.”

“Well, I guess,” Renarin said, sliding to sit in front of him. “I’ll just have to keep you happy myself then, huh?

Renarin might never truly know the hidden Kaladin, but damnation if he wasn’t going to give it a good show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok endnote or whatever this isn’t the end of this storyline! i’m not sure what ill work on next, but all my cosmere fics are in the same general universe so the next time i write kalarin it’ll be in somewhere in the same narrative that’s all thanks for reading !!


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